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Working out how your child will spend their time during the school holidays - especially the long summer break - can be challenging for any family. For separated parents, it can feel even more stressful when communication is difficult or disagreements arise over arrangements.
There are ways, though, of trying to avoid last minute arguments, the worry of looming gaps in childcare that need to be filled quickly, and disappointed children, who have been let down yet again.
Not all of these suggestions will work for you, or be right for your particular situation, but they might just help:
Why School Holiday Arrangements Matter
Children thrive on consistency, routine, and knowing what to expect. Uncertainty around holiday plans can lead to anxiety for children and tension between parents.
Where parents can cooperate and plan in advance, children are more likely to feel secure and supported. Even small steps towards better communication can make a significant difference.
Benefits of planning ahead include:
- Providing certainty and stability for children
- Reducing stress and conflict between parents
- Avoiding rushed childcare arrangements
- Allowing children to enjoy time with both parents
- Helping families coordinate holidays, camps, and activities
Children also benefit from seeing their parents work together respectfully, even after separation.
Listen to Your Children’s Wishes
Depending on their age and maturity, children may have views about how they would like to spend their holidays. Listening to their wishes appropriately can help them feel heard and valued.
This does not mean children should be expected to make decisions or choose between parents. Instead, it is about considering their feelings as part of the overall arrangements.
Useful Resources to Help You
There is lots of help out there. Explore the information and resources available on the following websites. You might find something that suits your family’s needs:
www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk
These organisations offer parenting plans, communication tools, mediation information, and guidance on resolving disputes constructively.
Put the Arrangements in Writing
Once an agreement has been reached, it is often helpful to record it in writing. This can reduce misunderstandings and provide a clear reference point for both parents.
A written plan might include:
- Holiday dates and handover times
- Travel arrangements
- Childcare responsibilities
- Communication during holidays
- Special occasions and birthdays
The “Our Child’s Plan” resource available through Cafcass can be particularly useful.
Use Parenting Apps for Day-to-Day Communication
Many separated parents find parenting apps helpful for managing communication and schedules. These apps can assist with:
- Shared calendars
- Messaging
- Expense tracking
- Activity planning
- Keeping records of arrangements
Using a neutral communication platform can help minimise misunderstandings and reduce conflict.
Consider Family Mediation
If you are struggling to agree on holiday arrangements, mediation may help. A trained family mediator can support productive conversations and help parents reach practical agreements focused on the children’s best interests.
More information about mediation services can be found at Family Mediation Council or NFM.
When to Seek Legal Advice from Family Solicitors?
Sometimes parents cannot reach an agreement despite their best efforts. In these situations, obtaining legal advice from Family Solicitors can help clarify your options and protect your child’s welfare.
Legal advice may be appropriate where:
- One parent repeatedly breaches arrangements
- Communication has completely broken down
- There are safeguarding concerns
- International travel is disputed
- A formal Child Arrangements Order may be needed
Early legal guidance can often prevent disputes from escalating further.
At Burtons Solicitors, we understand how emotionally challenging co-parenting disputes can be. Our experienced family solicitors can help you understand your options, improve communication where possible, and work towards arrangements that are in your child’s best interests.
Whether you need advice on mediation, parenting agreements, or court applications, our team is here to support you every step of the way.
Complete our online enquiry form today to arrange a confidential consultation with one of our family law specialists.
Alternatively, you can contact us by phone on 01892 824577 or visit our offices in Pembury (Tunbridge Wells), Bexley, Walderslade, Chatham and Hailsham.
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